After wasting 2 weeks of paid rental time dealing with a knows-crap-about-servers tech rep, I've finally got a semi-working jump server up and runnin'. It doesn't show up in the serverlist, despite the fact that the logs state it's sending a heartbeat successfully, but with all the newbie crap that these servers have, I wouldn't be surprised if the problem is on their end.
Server: 216.15.144.170