Ok, new development. My mom came up to help me unpack and get furniture. When I tried starting the car this morning, it started right up. So we went to batteries plus since everybody I talked to seemed to think it was battery related. The guy there said they couldn't do anything since they didn't have the tools to get the battery out. Unfortunately you have to take like half the engine out or remove the front right tire to get the battery out. He suggested Sears, so we went there. It was a busy day, so the guy said it would be about 3 hours before they could look at it, and they'd give me a call before replacing the battery or anything. We wandered around the mall for over 3 hours (I think my cumulative lifetime mall time just quadrupled) and never heard anything, so we headed back to Sears. By now, there were different people working. The guy asked for my name, pulled up my file, and said, "Ok, that's $29.95". I'm like, "Uh... so did they find out what was wrong?" "Well, they ran tests and the battery was good."
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I look at the results, and the battery, alternator, and starter are all OK, so I guess that eliminates some variables, but doesn't fix the problem. Whatever. We just wanted to get out of there. I go out to the car and turn the key.
Click.
Nothing happens.
So I get out of the car and walk right back in to Sears and say the more courteous version of, "WTF, mate?" to yet another person, since the guy I just talked to was busy with somebody else. He checks with the technician who supposedly ran the tests twice then states, "We don't do electrical work here."
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By this point, it was too late to take the car anywhere else, and by take, I mean call a tow truck. I figure I might as well try starting it a couple more times. I pop the hood and have my mom turn the key. What was once a faint click was now a very distinctive clank. Like I was tapping the engine block with a spoon. Just one clank, then nothing. On the 4th try, the car just magically started, so I just drove it back to the apartment. I tried starting it several times once I got back and it worked each time.