Author Topic: I have no toilet paper and my car won't start (Read 4499 times)

jitspoe · « **on:** February 22, 2008, 01:37:20 PM »

This isn't a good combination. I'm not sure what happened. My car was working fine. I drove it all the way here, then later went to get some food. Not long after that, I was going to go to the store. Turned the key, and nothing happened. There's a feint click, and that's about it. The lights come on, so I don't think the battery is low. It's like it doesn't even try. Just... nothing. It's a Chrysler Concorde, if anybody has any ideas.

KnacK · « **Reply #1 on:** February 22, 2008, 01:44:06 PM »

take a wrench, hammer, or anything with any bit of weight and tap on your battery terminals. They could be a bit loose or corroded.

If they are corroded, get a can of coke/Pepsi and slowly pour over the terminals to neutralise the acid.

lekky · « **Reply #2 on:** February 22, 2008, 02:42:58 PM »

Quote from: KnacK on February 22, 2008, 01:44:06 PM

take a wrench, hammer, or anything with any bit of weight and tap on your battery terminals. They could be a bit loose or corroded.

If they are corroded, get a can of coke/Pepsi and slowly pour over the terminals to neutralise the acid.

I think he actually wanted ideas on toilet paper replacement...

"excrement and a shower"

KnacK · « **Reply #3 on:** February 22, 2008, 02:56:32 PM »

TP??

Just use your sock.......

If that's not enough, turn it inside out....

Smokey · « **Reply #4 on:** February 22, 2008, 03:42:29 PM »

Quote from: KnacK on February 22, 2008, 02:56:32 PM

TP??

Just use your sock.......

If that's not enough, turn it inside out....

LOL

KnacK, I really hate that I love you.

KnacK · « **Reply #5 on:** February 22, 2008, 03:46:00 PM »

Eiii · « **Reply #6 on:** February 22, 2008, 04:13:32 PM »

I think this is my favorite thread ever.

Magical-Tree · « **Reply #7 on:** February 22, 2008, 06:11:42 PM »

I used the sock technique once when camping. Only the sock belonged to my mate who was rediculously drunk and passed out. I put the sock back on his foot after use, He wasn't happy in the morning. =p

~MT

magalhaes · « **Reply #8 on:** February 22, 2008, 06:23:27 PM »

LoL
2muchmagicaltree

Magical-Tree · « **Reply #9 on:** February 22, 2008, 06:34:12 PM »

A week previous he shaved off one of my eyebrows, It was more than fair.

~MT

ViciouZ · « **Reply #10 on:** February 22, 2008, 06:40:54 PM »

It's known as 'larking about', an integral part of british culture. The further north you go, the more likely it is that larking about will end in a screwdriver head busting your lung.

jitspoe · « **Reply #11 on:** February 22, 2008, 07:24:42 PM »

Sweet! I found some toilet paper. Not mine, but I'll take it.

I had to go to the leasing office to take a dump earlier today, lol.

Now I'm hungry and already over my minutes on my cell phone, so I don't want to call anybody for delivery. $:-\$

Eiii · « **Reply #12 on:** February 22, 2008, 07:25:23 PM »

Kill your neighbor and eat him/her. It's environmentally friendly, too!

y00tz · « **Reply #13 on:** February 23, 2008, 12:19:55 AM »

I <3 this thread too, nice find on the toilet paper

Does the feint click (sic? I'm aware of the word feint, just doesn't make sense here to me) repeat several times in a row very fast? Does it sound like a paintball gun that's out of ammo?

coLa · « **Reply #14 on:** February 23, 2008, 12:24:48 AM »

Quote from: jitspoe on February 22, 2008, 01:37:20 PM

This isn't a good combination. I'm not sure what happened. My car was working fine. I drove it all the way here, then later went to get some food. Not long after that, I was going to go to the store. Turned the key, and nothing happened. There's a feint click, and that's about it. The lights come on, so I don't think the battery is low. It's like it doesn't even try. Just... nothing. It's a Chrysler Concorde, if anybody has any ideas.

did you find out what was wrong with the car?

first trying messing with your battery terminals like knack said. when you turn on the lights do they sort of flicker, or is it just a nice constant beam?
it could be the starter solenoid. how long ago was the starter replaced? when you try to turn on the car do the dash lights flicker?

y00tz · « **Reply #15 on:** February 23, 2008, 12:26:39 AM »

I'm thinking starter too, Jitspoe is it the '00ish Concorde?

jitspoe · « **Reply #16 on:** February 23, 2008, 09:49:43 AM »

OK, I just tried it today and it started right up. It did rain slightly. Not sure if that has anything to do with it.

y00tz - I meant faint, as in quiet. For some reason I was thinking it was the other spelling so as not to be confused with faint, as in to pass out, but now I guess it makes sense that they're the same word.

lekky · « **Reply #17 on:** February 23, 2008, 12:39:36 PM »

Quote from: ViciouZ on February 22, 2008, 06:40:54 PM

It's known as 'larking about', an integral part of british culture. The further north you go, the more likely it is that larking about will end in a screwdriver head busting your lung.

Southern meddling fairy...

Zorchenhimer · « **Reply #18 on:** February 23, 2008, 01:43:48 PM »

Quote from: lekky on February 23, 2008, 12:39:36 PM

Southern meddling fairy...

Fairies? WHERE?!

* Zorchenhimer grabs 12 gauge

KnacK · « **Reply #19 on:** February 23, 2008, 07:16:14 PM »

lock 'n load Z-Man

* KnacK grabs the glock