e3rrt(Arthur Pendragon)
(Newb)Dennis: New players
(Newb)Dennis (MOM): People that know better
Arthur: New Player, sorry. What clan lives in that castle over there?
Dennis: Ive played for 6 years now on q2 as much as anyone.
Arthur: What?
Dennis: I'm 33! I'm not new, besides which I have played as much as anyone and I dont even know how to cheat!
Arthur: Well, I can't just call you a good player, that would be stupid.
Dennis: You could say "NS Loial".
Arthur: I didn't know you shot well.
Dennis: Well you didn't bother to find out, did you?
Arthur: I did say I'm sorry about the "Newbian", but from behind you looked...
Dennis: What I object to is you automatically treatin' me like an inferior.
Arthur: Well, I am e3rrt.
Dennis: Oh, e3rrt, eh - very nice. And how'd you get that, then? By exploiting the code! By hanging on to outdated imperialist dogma which perpetuates the leet and social differences in our society. If there's ever going to be any progress...
Dennis' mom : Dennis, Dennis! There's some lovely camping spots down here. Oh, how'd you do,sir?
Arthur: How'd you do good Newb? I am e3rrt, king of the q2 mod Digital Paintball. Whose castle is that?
Dennis' Mother: King of the who?
Arthur: The Newbs.
Dennis' Mother: Who are the Newbs?
Arthur: We all are. We are all newbs, and I am your newbian king.
Dennis' Mother: I didn't know we had a newb king. I thought we were an autonomous collective.
Dennis: You're foolin' yourself. We're living in a dictatorship! A self-perpetuating autocracy in which the newbian class...
Dennis' Mother: Oh there you go bringing your leet class into it again!
Dennis: But that's what it's all about! If only people would realise...
Arthur: Please, please good newbs. I am in haste. Who lives in that castle?
Dennis' Mother: No one lives there.
Arthur: Then who is your clan leader?
Dennis' Mother: We don't have a clan leader.
Arthur: What?!
Dennis: I told you. We're an anarcho-syndicalist commune. We take it in turns to act as sort of supreme executive officer for the week.
Arthur: Yes.
Dennis: But all the decisions of that officer have to be ratified at a special biweekly meeting...
Arthur: Yes, I see.
Dennis:...by a simple majority. In the case of purely internal affairs...
Arthur: Be quiet newb you are in violation of not making sense to me.
Dennis:...require two thirds majority. In the case of old ladys...
Arthur: Be quiet newb! I order you to be quiet, for I am e33rt!
Dennis' Mother: Order, eh? Who does he think he is?
Arthur: I am e33rt!
Dennis' Mother: Well, I didn't vote for you.
Arthur: You don't vote for e33rt.
Dennis' Mother: Well, how'd you become e3rr3t, then?
Arthur: ,... [Angel chorus begins singing in background] Bob's arm clad in the purest shimmering samite, held aloft Excalibur from the bosom of the water signifying by Divine Providence that I, e3rrt, was to carry the leetist of all hacks. [Angel chorus ends] That is why I am er33t!
Dennis: Listen. Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical hacks.
Arthur: Be quiet!
Dennis: But you can't expect to wield supreme executive power just 'cause some watery tart gave you a hack.
Arthur: Shut up!
Dennis: I mean, if I went 'round saying I was in e3rrt just because I knew how to hack better than most, they'd put me away!
Arthur: Shut up, will you? Shut up! [Grabs Dennis and shakes him]
Dennis: Ah, now we see the violence inherent in the system!
Arthur: Shut up Loial!
Dennis: Oh! Come and see the violence inherent in the system! Help! Help! I'm being repressed and hacked!
Arthur: Bloody LGM!
Dennis: Oh, what a give-away. Did you hear that? Did you hear that, eh? That's what I'm on about.
Loves and Merry Jesus to ye.
