http://www.chucknorrisfacts.com/page1.html- Chuck Norris once challenged Lance Armstrong in a "Who has more testicles?" contest. Chuck Norris won by 5.
- There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.
- Chuck Norris doesn't churn butter. He roundhouse kicks the cows and the butter comes straight out. (poor eiii)
- A Handicapped parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
- Someone once videotaped Chuck Norris getting pissed off. It was called Walker: Texas Chain Saw Masacre.
- Someone once tried to tell Chuck Norris that roundhouse kicks aren't the best way to kick someone. This has been recorded by historians as the worst mistake anyone has ever made.
- The Chuck Norris military unit was not used in the game Civilization 4, because a single Chuck Norris could defeat the entire combined nations of the world in one turn.
- In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself.
- How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could Chuck Norris? ...All of it.
- Chuck Norris doesn't shave; he kicks himself in the face. The only thing that can cut Chuck Norris is Chuck Norris.
- Chuck Norris has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoly card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.
- The show Survivor had the original premise of putting people on an island with Chuck Norris. There were no survivors, and nobody is brave enough to go to the island to retrieve the footage.
- An anagram for Walker Texas Ranger is KARATE WRANGLER SEX. I don't know what that is, but it sounds AWESOME.
- Chuck Norris proved that we are alone in the universe. We weren't before his first space expedition.
- Chuck Norris’ hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.
- When the Boogieman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.