Author Topic: Stupid news! only true stories plz (Read 4742 times)

stacy · « **on:** August 16, 2007, 12:26:56 AM »

An Indiana woman was sentenced to 30 days in jail for pretending to be her son's wife in order to OK a plea deal.

Upset with your cocaine purchase? Want your money back? Don't call the cops.

A man in Wisconsin is accused of stealing thousands of dollars from a local landlord ... and using it to buy underwear. Says one prosecutor: "He never had to use underwear twice."

Today's tip
Don't break into a spy store — especially one that has 17 surveillance cameras. (With video.)

A Florida bank teller thought an woman who walked in and demanded money was a bank robber — but as it turns out, she was just angry about an ATM that wouldn't give her cash.

y00tz · « **Reply #1 on:** August 16, 2007, 12:29:14 AM »

stacy · « **Reply #2 on:** August 16, 2007, 12:37:18 AM »

Reader tips

In this great roundup of questionable emergency calls, one stands out: The man who drunkenly called 999 (the UK equivalent of 911) to ask police which pizza shops were still open

A burglar in Ohio apparently decided to stop the rumblings in his tummy by making a cheese sandwich during the break-in.
A mother and son stole a baby boa from a pet store in Ohio -- but were arrested after they returned to the store and asked for books on how to care for it.

A suspect's successful getaway came to a crashing halt after he fell through a ceiling -- and landed right near the cops who were there to arrest him.

Colorado police arrested a bank robbery suspect who helpfully left his wallet behind at the scene. (Best quote: "When someone leaves behind their wallet, that really helps us out.")

According to Florida police, an ex-con enjoyed his stay in prison so much, he tried to rob a bank to get back in.

Utah cops nabbed a shoplifter after he tried to exchange a pillow at the store he stole it from. (The best part: The manager wouldn't exchange it, so the thief called the cops for help.)

sirwar · « **Reply #3 on:** August 16, 2007, 12:43:47 AM »

An Arkansas homeowner says a burglar broke into his garage and stole two six-packs of beer from the fridge. But it gets better: The thief left behind some marijuana as a gift, along with a note: “God made weed, man made beer — Who do you trust?”

lekky · « **Reply #4 on:** August 16, 2007, 07:22:40 AM »

Quote from: y00tz on August 16, 2007, 12:29:14 AM

Heh.

lol

jitspoe · « **Reply #5 on:** August 16, 2007, 04:22:46 PM »

lol, y00tz. I'll have to add that one to my collection. I have a bunch of random newspaper things like that. Here's an example (first one in the directory):

Cobo · « **Reply #6 on:** August 16, 2007, 04:28:38 PM »

Ouch...

ViciouZ · « **Reply #7 on:** August 17, 2007, 06:30:59 AM »

That's just britain for you. Recently two terrorist attacks were foiled just because it's britain. Where else would a carbomb be discovered by a nightclubber getting drunk and falling down a set of stairs, causing the ambulance to find a carbomb? Where else would a car packed with explosives fail to blow up because it was too damp? And then the would-be suicide bomber got out of his car, on fire, and was repeatedly punched by the glaswegians waiting for their flights from glasgow airport. It couldn't have been more british if that guy from the italian job was there as the car crashed into the terminal door and stopped dead, yelling the famous line "YOU'RE ONLY SUPPOSED TO BLOW THE BLOODY DOORS OFF!"

gg terrorist wannabees. gg.

flip · « **Reply #8 on:** August 17, 2007, 11:05:25 AM »

heres on for ya... on one of many deployments to the middleeast.... I got a chance to go to a real base and get real food from a chow hall after a few months out in the middle of nowhere. The bad thing it was a day where they we're serving steak and lobster tails. After standing in line for an hour I decided to just go back to the barracks and eat an M.R.E. A few minutes later a friend walks in and asked if I knew that E.O.D found a strange package next to the chow hall. It had explosives in it set to kill hundreds of US troops as they ate. The one problem ... it got so hot that afternoon that the trigger mechanism melted. Thank goodness for the kuwaiti sun.

Eiii · « **Reply #9 on:** August 17, 2007, 01:41:54 PM »

Quote from: ViciouZ on August 17, 2007, 06:30:59 AM

That's just britain for you. Recently two terrorist attacks were foiled just because it's britain. Where else would a carbomb be discovered by a nightclubber getting drunk and falling down a set of stairs, causing the ambulance to find a carbomb? Where else would a car packed with explosives fail to blow up because it was too damp? And then the would-be suicide bomber got out of his car, on fire, and was repeatedly punched by the glaswegians waiting for their flights from glasgow airport. It couldn't have been more british if that guy from the italian job was there as the car crashed into the terminal door and stopped dead, yelling the famous line "YOU'RE ONLY SUPPOSED TO BLOW THE BLOODY DOORS OFF!"

Admittedly, the failed terrorists made me giggle.

stacy · « **Reply #10 on:** August 17, 2007, 01:46:54 PM »

SAN MARCOS Police in San Marcos, Texas say they arrested a pair of Bulgarian natives with more than $18,000 in quarters.

That's 989 pounds of loose change.

Monday managers at the Englebrook Apartments, 200 Robbie Ln., reported a burglary in the laundry room. An officer arrested two men leaving the room, one carrying a bag.

Inside a nearby van, police say they found $18,700 in quarters, along with various apartment guides from Texas, Arkansas, North Carolina and Louisiana.

Two Bulgarian natives, Plaman E. Ivanov, 31, and Ilko Boyadzhiev, 27, are charged with burglary of a coin-operated machine, engaging in organized criminal activity and possession of criminal instrument.

Police are looking for a third Bulgarian native, Ivylin Ivanov, 23.

stacy · « **Reply #11 on:** August 17, 2007, 01:53:14 PM »

A Washington burglar was arrested this weekend after he was found asleep in the house he'd broken into. Apparently, instead of a teddy bear, he was "clutching the homeowners' credit cards." Awww.

stacy · « **Reply #12 on:** August 17, 2007, 01:55:34 PM »

MADISON, Wis. -- A man accused of impersonating a police officer allegedly pulled over the real thing on Friday morning.

Joshua Kay, 28, faces charges of impersonating a peace officer after he allegedly tried to stop an off-duty officer, WISC-TV reported.

Kay, who was driving a Honda Civic, allegedly used red lights and a siren and motioned for the officer to pull over.

Instead, the officer called 911 to confirm if a real traffic stop was in progress and got the license number of the suspect's car, WISC-TV reported.

eagle · « **Reply #13 on:** August 17, 2007, 06:44:58 PM »

karma...police

lekky · « **Reply #14 on:** August 19, 2007, 10:22:08 AM »

SmPeR · « **Reply #15 on:** August 19, 2007, 10:54:25 AM »

haha isnt really a story but a funny heading eh?

stacy · « **Reply #16 on:** August 19, 2007, 11:16:24 AM »

Berlin - A 43-year-old German decided to settle his imminent divorce by chainsawing a family home in two and making off with his half in a forklift truck.

Police in the eastern town of Sonneberg said on Friday the trained mason measured the single-storey summer house - which was about eight by six metres - before chainsawing through the wooden roof and walls.

"The man said he was just taking his due," said a police spokesperson. "But I don't think his wife was too pleased."

After finishing the job, the man picked up his half with the forklift truck and drove to his brother's house where he has since been staying.

jitspoe · « **Reply #17 on:** August 22, 2007, 10:40:41 PM »

stacy · « **Reply #18 on:** August 23, 2007, 12:15:41 AM »

Published: March 5, 2007 at 11:41 AM Email Story | Print Preview | License

Woman fakes death to avoid traffic court
SWANSEA, Wales, March 5 (UPI) -- A Welsh woman has drawn a suspended jail sentence for faking her own death in order to avoid going to court for a speeding ticket.

Glenda Askew, 47, of Swansea, was clocked driving 11 miles over the city speed limit in March 2006 and received a notice from police, The BBC reports.

Askew ignored the letter, but when a summons to court arrived, she decided she had better take action.

Prosecutor Bryn Hurford says Askew filled out the summons in the name of her daughter, Tracey Roberts, stating that her mother would not be able to come to court because she had died in a car accident.

Judge Michael Burr said he saw little purpose in jailing her and instead sentenced Askew to 12 months of supervision.

stacy · « **Reply #19 on:** August 23, 2007, 12:22:48 AM »

BILLINGS, Mont. (AP) — A man told police not to blame him for crashing his truck into a light post -- it was that unicorn behind the wheel. Prosecutor Ingrid Rosenquist said Phillip C. Holliday Jr. initially denied driving the truck involved in the March 7 crash in Billings. He told officers at the scene that a unicorn was driving, she said.

Holliday, 42, pleaded not guilty Tuesday to felony charges of criminal endangerment and drunken driving.

A pickup truck drove through a red light and nearly struck another truck in the intersection, according to court documents. The driver then made an erratic U-turn through a gas station, crossed the street and crashed into a light pole. Nobody was injured.

Holliday has five drunken-driving convictions. District Judge Gregory Todd kept his bail at $100,000 despite his lawyer arguing that Holliday's last such conviction was 14 years ago.

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