Digital Paint Discussion Board
Digital Paint Community => Other Stuff => Topic started by: jitspoe on January 14, 2008, 03:09:51 AM
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It was only about a month ago that my greatest fear while playing paintball became a reality. Fortunately for me, the assailant was far enough away that the paintballs were traveling slow enough to bounce when they hit. I also had a nice pair of baggy pants that had saved me from getting eliminated a few times in the past. By the time testicular contact was achieved, the ball velocity was greatly reduced, but still sufficient enough to take note of. Between the shock, pain, and falling back for cover, I nearly ended up flat on my face, but I was still in action for a while longer (until somebody finally clipped my giant tank). I was also lucky that the majority of the impact force was directed between both of my fertilization producers.
This weekend, though, I wasn't so lucky. I was on the front lines of a mounds course with my loveable Trracer pump trying to get into a position to grenade the enemy hill. We had taken out most of the resistance, but there was still one person on the mound directly in front of us. I had moved up to closer, yet more vulnerable, position, because I felt we had him pinned down pretty well. Then I saw somebody pop up on the left side taking shots at our left flank, so I changed my stance ever so slightly to take a shot at him, in so doing exposing God's most precious gifts to the person directly in front of us, who just so happened to choose that moment to peek out and fire a couple shots, one of which landed square on my left testicle.
As I hobbled off of the field, my friend asked, "Where'd you get hit?"
"Guess."
"You're walking kind of funny. You get shot in the butt?"
"No. I wasn't that lucky."
More than a day later, I'm still feeling the effects. I can't sit down too quickly or walk with my legs too close together. I think it might be time for me to invest in a cup.
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*Edgecrusher ROFLES
I feel sorry for you, but you made my day, now I can work.
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truly pwnt
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Can this be a feature in dpball, please?
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HAHAHAHA! I can't imagine the pain.
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Ive been shot in the jewels but I always wear a cup..
THe thing that realyl stings are neck shots, but I wear a neck protector too.
probably the most painfull shot I ever took was in teh top of the head. It was really hot and I didnt have my bandana on ( thick canvas camo) and I was leaning forward.....
Left a HUGE goose egg.
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The most painful shot i endured in paintball was to my collar bone
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Invest in that cup, it's well worth the money. After a few close calls, I decided to get one, and I have been thankful ever since I got it.
I don't know if you play speedball/xball, but if your ever going to do a superman into the snake, or anywhere else, DO NOT do it while wearing the cup. I had to learn that the hard way, and on hard turf. :'(
I don't know if this is just me but this made my day:
By the time testicular contact was achieved, the ball velocity was greatly reduced, but still sufficient enough to take note of.
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* throws cup aside *
"Looks like he'll be playing snake this round."
Wait, that sounds wrong.
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O_o
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worst shot i got was when i jumped off this two story tower onto a garbage can...but the garbage can gave out and i got stuck and two guys behind me decided to lay on the trigger and shot me about 20 times in the back. had lots of welts the next day
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I had something like that happen, minus the jumping on a trash can part. I was on an Xball field and rushed to the center X, but it didn't provide as much cover as I had hoped, and I was forced to leave either the top part of my body exposed or my feet. Somebody clipped my shoe. As I stood up and called myself out, I got lit up in the back. Bonus balled x 14.
Along those same lines, somebody slid into a bunker and shot me and as I lifted my hand, he shot it from like a foot and a half away. THAT stung. It was all I could do to keep from unloading on him as I walked off of the field.
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darn sounds harsh Jitspoe.
Most painful shot I took was my ear in 35 degree weather, even through the mask it stung severely and felt as if my ear was severed off.
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severed off.
Severed off so much is was removed, you say!
Haha, in my younger days I was shot up close on my arm by guy who obviously knew I was out, and without thinking I knocked him on the side of the head with my marker and he fell back on to an electric fence. Haha punks :P
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Wow y00tz that's so funny. Did a fight start?
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i thought there would have been some pics of the bruising. i was wrong. :'(
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I can get pics. Expect them by tomorrow.
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Paint The Balls.
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/me is crouched over, feeling the pain
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I know a ref that got it good.....
I was on a pretty open field and this one dumba$$ ref wasnt watching the game close enough but he was in my line of fire.
After yelling " MOVE REF!!!" 2 times with no response, he got 2 welts to the back of the head.
I appologised after the round and he was cool about it, but darn, he had some marks......
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darn Jits...hate it for your nugglets.
I gots a couple stories...
1) Was on a recball field. These three guys on the4 other team took off together and stayed behind this one bunker the entire round. A kamikaze middle-eastern guy gave me enough cover to get into a position to where I was unseen and had a good run to their bunker. At the right time I took off and as I rounded the bunker all three of the guys were looking the complete opposite way. I'm about to fire and the ref, standing 10 feet from them and completely noticing my move, yells "HAVE MERCY." I freeze in my tracks and don't fire a shot eight feet from the three of them. All three turn around and open up on me standing there in the open. The only recourse is that the ref kept me in and sent all three of them out cause I obviously had them. The ref also apologized after the round for causing me to get hammered like that.
2) I was playing hyperball with my two nephews one time. I was already out and on the sidelines with a few others watching the action. My nephew, not DaPainta from DP long ago, was the last guy on his side and being corralled in pretty quickly. Me and a few others were about 30 feet away and yelling "take it easy on him." This one guy runs around and bunkers my nephew and just stands there and fires and doesn't stop. Me and at least three other guys open up on him from the sidelines after he had fired at least 50 rounds. My nephew stood up and threw his gun at the guy after all firing had stopped, but missed and busted his A5. That guy pretty much left the field rather quickly, and the establishment banned him.
The worst place i'd ever been shot was...
My two nephews and I were at the same field as above the day before a big 3-man tourny. The had just finished setting up the airball field and these three people (one guy two girls) wanted to play, and asked me if I wanted to run a quick 3. I looked over to my nephews and said "let's do it." So we hit it. My nephews were eliminated almost immediately while I concentrated on, and eliminated, the girl running back cover. By then the other girl and the guy had made position on me. I exchanged fire with the other girl, which was their plan for the guy (closer to me) to see my fire. He popped out and drilled mee in the top of my index finger spraying paint in my face. It felt like it jammed my finger and hurt like hell. Oh, btw, those two girls were from some famous professional all girls team (femme fatals or something). We got smoked.
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ACK!!!!
I always wear armored gloves for that reason. It only took one hit on teh top of my hand to make that decision.
I was practicing with the texas timberwolves one year ( had a blast and learned a lot) One of the training drills was bunkering. 2 guys in the bunker and 2 guys rushing. ALWAYS the guys in the bunkers got pelted. Hated the drill but still got a lot out of it.
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I had paintball gloves on. The ball just hit right on the tip of a straightened out finger :(.
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Last time I went paintballing someone was shot in the balls at the firing range. He started by yelling a lot, and everyone was looking at him. Then he yelled we were all cun.ts, and shot the marshal in the mask a few times before ripping his own mask off, kicking it, chucking his gun at the marshall and then leaving.
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i thought there would have been some pics of the bruising. i was wrong. :'(
There was bruising, but I'm not posting pictures of my testicles on the Internet.
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There was bruising, but I'm not posting pictures of my testicles on the Internet.
Well not here, but at least on 4chan.