Author Topic: Jokes  (Read 2074 times)

iEATnoobs

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Jokes
« on: February 23, 2009, 10:37:38 PM »
Here i start.

A wealthy man had a little boy. For some reason, his first words were "ping pong ball". When the boy was old enough to speak, and understand birthdays and gifts and such (about three years old), he asked the boy "So son, what would you like for your birthday this year?" The boy said, "Daddy, I would like a purple ping pong ball." Father said "That's it? No trucks, no trains no puzzles?" The boy said "No, just a purple ping pong ball.



So the father gets him the purple ping pong ball and wraps it up. The boy is absolutely delighted. He takes the purple ping pong ball to his room, and the purple ping pong ball is never seen again.



A day before his 15th birthday, asked by his father, `Well my son, what would you like for your birthday?'



The son hesitated a moment and his father's thoughts leapt ahead to a new computer and similar things. However, his son had had a new computer only recently and could have a new one any time he wished.



Finally, the son said, `Father, I have everything a boy could wish for, but there is one thing I would really like. I would love to have five purple ping pong balls.



The father was rather astonished at this wish, but said, `If it is purple ping pong balls that you want, a purple ping pong balls you shall have.



And so, the next day, the son was given as his birthday presents five purple ping pong balls.



The boy took the purple ping pong balls to his room and the next morning the purple ping pong balls were gone. The father was mildly surprised but decided not to say anything. The purple ping pong balls, however, was never seen again.



The next year, a day before his 16th birthday, the father asked his son what he would like for his birthday.



`Father,' replied the son, `I have everything a boy could possibly wish for, but there is one thing I would really, really like. I would love to have a ten pack of purple ping pong balls.'



The father was more surprised than the year before, but kept his curiosity at bay, for he knew that his son had a right for privacy. He said therefore, `If it is a ten pack of purple ping pong balls that you want, a ten pack of purple ping pong balls you shall have.'



And so, the next day, the son was given as his birthday present a ten pack of purple ping pong balls.



The boy took the ten pack of purple ping pong balls to his room and the next morning, not a single ping pong ball remained, merely the empty husk of the ten pack. The father wondered where ten purple ping pong balls might disappear to, but decided not to say anything. The purple ping pong balls, however, were never seen again.



The next year, a day before his 17th birthday, the son was asked by his father what he would like for his birthday.



`Father,' said the son to this, `I have everything a boy could wish for, but one thing would make my happiness complete. I would dearly want a carton of purple ping pong balls.'



The father was beyond surprise, but decided to make sure he had not misheard. `A carton of purple ping pong balls?'



`A carton of purple ping pong balls,' the boy confirmed.



`I can't understand your fascination with purple ping pong balls,' said the father, `but if it is a carton of purple ping pong balls that you want, it is a carton of purple ping pong balls that you shall have.'



And so, the next day, the boy was given as his birthday present a carton of purple ping pong balls.



The boy was delighted and took the carton to his room. The next day, miraculously (as if by magic, even) the purple ping pong balls had all disappeared.



`Dear son,' said the father, `I must ask now, what do you do with all those purple ping pong balls?'



The son, however, was reluctant to tell him. `Please humor me, dear father.'



The carton of purple ping pong balls, however, was never seen again.



The next year, it was clear that the son would get a car, but the father felt that, perhaps, his son also had some other wish apart from the obvious. So, one day before the son's 18th birthday, the father asked him whether he had a special wish for his birthday.



`Dearest father,' the son started, `I have everything a young man could possibly want, but there is one craving in me. I would, more than anything, want a warehouse full of purple ping pong balls.'



One of these years, his father thought, I should get to the bottom of this. However, he decided to humor his son's wish. At least he had been wise enough to buy shares in a purple ping pong ball factory.



The next day, the son was given the address of a warehouse where all his new purple ping pong balls were stored. The son was delighted and decided to spend the next night in the warehouse rather than at home.



The following morning, the son stepped out of the warehouse, but it seemed to be empty otherwise. The father had a closer look and indeed, apart from empty cardboard boxes, nothing was left inside the warehouse. No purple ping pong balls were left.



The following year, one day before the son's 19th birthday, the father braced himself for another warehouse of purple ping pong balls. He asked his son what his deepest desire was and he had not been entirely wrong.



`Father, you have made me very happy these last years and this year I ask of you a shipload of purple ping pong balls if at all possible.'



It was possible, if only because the father had by now bought each and every factory of purple ping pong balls in the country.



The next day, the father took his son to the harbor and showed him a huge tanker and told his son that there were millions, billions, trillions of purple ping pong balls in there.



`Father,' the son said, `You've made me very happy yet again.'



That night, the son spent on board the tanker.



The next morning, not a single of the purple ping pong balls could be found, but the son was happy.



A few days before his 20th birthday, however, the son had a terrible road accident and was taken to the hospital.



His father visited the young man in hospital. `My dear son! Can I bring you anything to make you feel better?'



Weakly, the son sat up in bed. `Father, dearest father, grant me this wish; just one ten pack of purple ping pong balls.'



The father held his son's hand tightly. `Whatever you wish my son, but I have to give you one condition. Even if it may be embarrassing, I must know what you did with all those purple ping pong balls.'



`Very well, father, but please indulge me first. I will tell you whatever you wish to know after you have given me the ten purple ping pong balls.'



The father thought that was fair enough and the next day brought his son the ten asked for purple ping pong balls. The son smiled weakly but seemed too weak to talk.



Son, I leave these purple ping pong balls with you and shall come back tomorrow to ask of you what you have done with all those purple ping pong balls.



The son nodded weakly.



The next day, less than surprisingly, no purple ping pong balls could be found in the son's hospital room.



Now, my dearest son, apple of my eye, treasure of my life, please tell me what you did with all those purple ping pong balls, the father requested.



The son nodded and the father gripped his hand tighter.



`I-' the son started and sat up a bit, swallowing with a dry mouth.



`I- I-'



Then he died.

f

Byz

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Re: Jokes
« Reply #1 on: February 23, 2009, 10:46:37 PM »
Umm not sure , but was the joke suppose to be longer?

fasian

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Re: Jokes
« Reply #2 on: February 23, 2009, 11:28:39 PM »
or are we suppose to continue the joke?

blaa

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Re: Jokes
« Reply #3 on: February 24, 2009, 03:19:33 AM »
 THE FATHER BECAME HANNIBAL LECTER

RoBbIe

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Re: Jokes
« Reply #4 on: February 24, 2009, 05:33:30 AM »
haha i think you got 2 add on... he started it someone finish it

fasian

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Re: Jokes
« Reply #5 on: February 24, 2009, 05:36:56 AM »
THE FATHER BECAME HANNIBAL LECTER

You have to start with a F haha

S8NSSON

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Re: Jokes
« Reply #6 on: February 24, 2009, 06:46:52 AM »
I truly just spent the most useless time reading that horrid thing. I will never be able to get that time back.

That is absolutely the worst joke on earth.

Nothing even remotely funny about that.

The few people that consider this joke funny are responsible for keeping it alive...STOP it's not funny...the punchline is not even close to funny enough to over power the fact that you read that long setup.

Now, if the "funny" about it is "HA HA I just got you to read that long ass story for absolutely nothing!" then good job!!!

S8NSSON

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Re: Jokes
« Reply #7 on: February 24, 2009, 06:53:52 AM »
2 sausages in a frying pan, one says to the other 'Hey, its hot in here' the other screams 'OH Hell! A talking sausage'

2 fish in a tank, one says to the other 'Can you drive this thing?'

2 Parrots sitting on a perch, one says to the other 'Can you smell fish?'

2 cannibals eating a clown, one says to the other 'Does this taste a bit funny to you?'

Dukky

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Re: Jokes
« Reply #8 on: February 24, 2009, 07:08:18 AM »
The joke iEatNoobs said is funny, but you need to tell the shorter version of it. You need it long enough to sound like a good joke, but not too long so that the reader is bored. The version I know is funier than that, simply because it is shorter and therefore funnier.

2 fish swim into a concrete wall. 'darn' says one of them.

Why should you never wear pants made in Russia?

Chernobyl Fallout.

blaa

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Re: Jokes
« Reply #9 on: February 24, 2009, 08:18:41 AM »
 Right.

Anywho. 2 dogs are sitting in a bar. One tells that he just had a dograce. "I felt extremely exhaused before the race, becuase my owner is such a female dog and makes me workout twice a day, including race days. Suddenly I felt something in my ass! I ran like I was a puppy, and I meddling won the race!"
Other dog replies:" Wow! Such a story. You wont believe this, but the very same thing happened to me! i was dead tired when I suddenly felt something in my ass, and I won the race".
At the same moment a horse walks to them saying "Excuse me gentlemen, I dont mean to be rude or anything, btu I overheard your conversation and I must say, that I had the same incident happen to me today. I was tired before the race and then I felt something in my ass and in the end I won the race :/"
One dog looks at the second dog and says"wtf, talking horse"

eMo

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Re: Jokes
« Reply #10 on: February 24, 2009, 09:58:10 AM »
A few days ago I was having some work done at my local garage.

A blonde came in and asked for a seven-hundred-ten knob.

We all looked at each other and another customer asked, 'What is a seven-hundred-ten knob?'

She replied, 'You know, the little piece in the middle of the engine, I have lost it and need a new one.. '

She replied that she did not know exactly what it was, but this piece had always been there.

The mechanic gave her a piece of paper and a pen and asked her to draw what the piece looked like.

She drew a circle and in the middle of it wrote 710.

He then took her over to another car which had its hood up and asked 'is there a 710 on this car?'

She pointed and said, 'Of course, its right there.'

If you're still not sure what a 710 is:

iEATnoobs

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Re: Jokes
« Reply #11 on: February 24, 2009, 02:36:15 PM »
Looks like S8N was the only one to get my joke. : /
anyways....

Did you know Helen Keller had a swing set?

Neither did she.