Translation:
Hi, my name is Gohan and this is a true story.
I went to a LANparty, and chugged the neck of a beer. I see the coolest guy there bragging about his metal leather shroud yu gi oh card. My confidence was high so I told him to to give me his card. He says to me "Wow, no its my card, we can battle for it". I didn't want to battle because I had only brought my B deck to the LANparty. He however, still wanted to battle me. You imagine ass to mouth? I'm buzzed, and he has a sugar high from his mountain dew. I'm a little female dog so I try to run, but he sneaks up on me with his dad's machete he got from a Lord of the Rings replica store. Wow, we roll around on the grass for a 3 minutes until I rolled onto the cement and scraped my arm, but I didn't cry, I just put a band-aid on it. He however accidentally ripped three of his nose rings out and he was bleeding. His mom came and picked him up right away and I found his card laying in the grass.
Believe it or not, no problem.
