Author Topic: Bob Saget Is God!  (Read 2029 times)

Smokey

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Bob Saget Is God!
« on: June 07, 2006, 11:23:18 PM »

The Church Of Bob Saget
The World's Foremost Authority On Everything That Is Holy About Bob Saget
   
   Searching For Hope, Purpose, Relief?

Or Maybe Just Answers To Some Of
Life's Most Complicated Questions?

Well Then Look No Further My Friends...
BOB SAGET WILL SAVE YOUR SOUL!
   
         
   
   
      
   
   Bob Saget is God?

Now I admit, at first it may be hard to believe. However, I assure you, not only is Bob Saget the
world’s greatest comedian, he is indeed the holy savior himself. Of course, I would never dream
of making such a claim without proof to back it up… Here are just a few examples:


1. He Has The Power To Manipulate People

Lord Saget is well known as his role as the host of America’s Funniest Home Videos. It was on
AFHV that Bob first proved to us how powerful he was… by manipulating the voice of others.

Now I know what you are thinking, “Bob simply dubbed his voice over every video.” Yes, I admit,
this is how it appears before the untrained eye. However, the truth is, not only did Bob manipulate
the voices on every video, he was responsible for the outcomes as well. Think about it, how often
do you think a father is hit in the balls a baseball without dire consequences? Bob understands
his followers, and thus he gives us want we want, crude humor.

However, Bob didn’t stop there. He showed how much he loves his followers by giving the
winners $10,000.

When was the last time YOUR GOD gave you $10,000?


2. He Played America’s Favorite Father Figure

For many years Bob was known for his role as Danny Tanner, the loveable father figure on the
show Full House. Think about it, what is God really other than a father figure? Bob has already
proven that he can fill the role. What other father can manage three daughters, a full time job, two
unemployed friends, a dog, and keep the house clean at the same time? Not to mention he was
able to put up with the antics of Kimmy Gibler for years. Any lesser being would have killed and
raped her before the end of the first season.


3. (BOB = 3 LETTERS) X (GOD = 3 LETTERS) = LORD SAGET

Now I know what you are thinking…

“Wow, that makes so much sense, how could I possible question your logic?”

YOU CAN’T! Math is logic, and logic is power, which just goes to show that you can’t dispute the
awesome power of LORD SAGET!


The Church Of Saget

Over the last few years I have been on a search for anything and everything related to Bob
Saget, After all of my searching I've found that not a single religion acknowledges the obvious
FACT that Bob Saget is not only the world's greatest comedian/actor, he is indeed the Holy
Savior himself! Now I'm sure you are thinking the same thing that I thought when I first figured this
out: "What the hell is wrong with this world?" Well the French are still allowed to breed for one
thing, but how appalling is it that not a single sect or cult accepts the notion that the one and only 
true Lord and Savior of all that is known in the entire universe is Bob Saget.

IT’S TIME that the world finally knows the truth behind the meaning of life!
IT’S TIME that the world is saved from those who wish to corrupt it!
IT’S TIME that the world can look to a true leader, one who will fight for them!
IT’S TIME that the world is told about the awesome power of Lord Bob Saget!

IT’S TIME, for us all to come together as a whole and acknowledge the cold hard fact:

BOB SAGET IS GOD!

Unfortunately I cannot do this alone. I call upon all of you to join in on the effort.

Together we can make the world a better place, as well as provide a safe environment for our
kids and loved ones.

Together we can spread the love that Bob Saget so graciously shares with us.

Together we can make a difference, but not without the help of God himself, Bob Saget!

So spread the word! Tell everyone you know that Bob Saget has taking you into his heart and
has opened your eyes to the truth.

Tell them what they have always known deep within their hearts, but just needed a guide to show
them the way.

With your help we can spread the word of Bob Saget and bring piece and love to all.

So join me in telling the world: "BOB SAGET SAVED MY LIFE, NOW HE CAN SAVE YOU!"


The Saget Laws

As with any church, there must be rules that each follower must follow. Christians have the Ten
Commandments, Buddhists have The Holy Eightfold Path, and thus believers in the Church of
Bob Saget follow The Saget Laws. The laws are simple, and go as follows:

1. Obey the word of Lord Saget, for it is the ultimate truth.
2. Honor Lord Saget, for it is the only way to Sagetopia ("Heaven")
3. Laugh and be jolly, for it is the way of Lord Saget.
4. Pray each day to Lord Saget, for it is the path to righteousness.
5. Spread the word of Lord Saget, for it is your duty.

Bob simply wants you to be happy, and the easiest path to happiness is to praise Bob.

Follow The Saget laws and you too will find happiness.

www.bobsagetisgod.com

Vinne

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Re: Bob Saget Is God!
« Reply #1 on: June 08, 2006, 03:53:18 PM »
bob sgaet isent he off of full house and played 1 time on jeff foxworthey?

loial21

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Re: Bob Saget Is God!
« Reply #2 on: June 09, 2006, 11:29:06 PM »
Bob Saget sold his soul for Half-Baked

the beast

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Re: Bob Saget Is God!
« Reply #3 on: June 11, 2006, 10:51:50 PM »
i find this offensive..

bug

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Re: Bob Saget Is God!
« Reply #4 on: June 11, 2006, 11:34:37 PM »
i find this offensive..

We all do. That's what Off Topic is for -- stuff that is blatantly POLITICALLY INCORRECT.

pinobot

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Re: Bob Saget Is God!
« Reply #5 on: June 12, 2006, 03:33:37 AM »

Smokey

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Re: Bob Saget Is God!
« Reply #6 on: June 12, 2006, 04:35:36 AM »
the beast is too good. cant wait to get him glined on etg to anger him

Briton

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Re: Bob Saget Is God!
« Reply #7 on: June 12, 2006, 12:07:21 PM »
However, I assure you, not only is Bob Saget the world’s greatest comedian, he is indeed the holy savior himself.

Blasphemer! Not only is Bog Saget not the world's greatest comedian but I have assurances that this animal is the holy messiah:

bug

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Re: Bob Saget Is God!
« Reply #8 on: June 12, 2006, 12:34:40 PM »
Eet mor Chikin

Termin8oR

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Re: Bob Saget Is God!
« Reply #9 on: June 16, 2006, 11:37:42 AM »
WOW NEWB-CAKES!